Friday, May 1, 2015

Solitary

 
This is just personal thought of my personal being , my spirit  & work . I can't speak for others or what may be the stereotype of a solitary person :-)
As I begin movement out of menopause in to my full croning ( another article in itself )
I was thinking to myself of my work of what I do , be it mother , friend ,freelance writer ,  spae wife, wyrt wife , counselor etc. It became clear again that my practice is solitary . I am a solitary person .
I am also an introvert which I'm not sure all solitary people are but I am .
We all need time , our life to do the figuring it out thing . learning & growing always in to who we truly are .
Solitary does not mean I don't enjoy or like being with people either !
So much of my work is with people .
I was thinking of the healers in my family , the strong women .
They too were solitary . Yet my mother for example was different than I in her work with others . She was the opposite of me she went out into community to work  as a nurse . Yet it was still work done alone . She loved this work just as I love mine .
My mother rarely has people in . Even family she does not like to have family in her home for more then a day or two .
I do almost all my work within my home . Yes I go to family functions & community dinners teas & sales . Yet my crafting , preparing medicinal or magical goods that is all done at home .
Many don't see my work as counselor because it is not done within groups .
My teaching , advocacy & counselling  is almost always done one on one . Now with computers this is the way most interaction takes place where as before it was via telephone . & people come to my home ! be it for friendship or counsel , a place of comfort .
I have taught class but always children & I would always keep it that way . Children are about the only human beings I can handle in a group teaching situation .
Even when I did my work in the safe house for street women my work I loved the most was outreach where I & one other person went out on the street rather than remain in the house with the group.
As volunteer within our food coop I did the individual work of herb sorter .
My work as an intercessor /mediator is a solitary work as well .
Meditation & contemplation for me cannot be done within group . I can teach a group the how but the actual work , travel , prayer I cannot do it within a group setting .
As a child I always was like this as well working very much alone or one on one with a teacher like my grandmother etc.
Even friendship I have a very small strong circle of friends we camp , we celebrate , we talk & talk & talk lol
yet my magical work is always done alone I do not have a so called coven .
Large gatherings confuse me . I find I cannot focus on one thing because there is so much going on & the energies of people . My goodness lol .
My partner is exactly the opposite he is very solitary even more so than I perhaps but he almost always works with others outside the home . He also loves large groups . I can't stand the Winnipeg Folk Fest & he loves it ! Grocery shopping it nearly kills me to shop on a weekend where he has no problem .
We sure do balance each other out .
I am a gatherer ! I do so much of this on my own , yet I also know that women did this job together . I miss my women !
I want their presence .
Yet also do you know when gathering women were solitary too !
Even though they'd go off in the bush together , they separated . They did their own individual gathering .
They had calls & songs for in the bush so they always knew where each other were . The older women in the family did this . It is what we used to do .  
This is what I want & need ! This is in my blood my blood knowledge !
 
I am like any other person on this planet I need other humans ! LOL I think it is a very rare & odd thing that someone would actually be called to be totally isolated hermit ;-)
Yet I too have that feeling of I need to belong creep in , I crave & want to be a part of .
It is funny but I always find out when I step in to that how much I am not a part of a big thing by being with hundreds of other people . I am a part of it by doing my own thing .
I had the call to make a drum for myself . I had not had a drum since childhood . It was the actual large gathering of Idle No More that inspired me . I took this as I was to make a drum & join the crowd .
I worked on my drum , I took a small lesson brought it home & began to make it my own . I dyed her Indigo , gave her a moon & a willow tree .
I needed to bless her on my birthday , that was it I planned . Go out to the lake & then she'd be ready . I still had in my head the whole goal of this was to partake in the larger group ;-)
Well I took her out on the ice I did ceremony . I took her in the bush .
As I played her I knew .
She is a water bush drum & does not wish to be with other drums /or people for that matter
Her beat & my prayer is exactly what my work is .
She works just as hard as a solitary drum to heal water & land as hundreds of drums in a group .
As I grow older coming into full cronehood I see & know myself  & am more secure with myself
 am like my grandmother & mother incredibly so.
I see myself off in the bush in my little dwelling . A place of comfort for ourselves ,  children , grandchildren , friends & others ( animals included ).
Boreal granny in the woods ~ that's me