Monday, March 12, 2012

PBP Letter E ~ Envy

Envy
yep I'm behind , what else is new .
I had trouble with what my E word would be this week . This word Envy kept popping up.
I know it is a negative , yet we cannot avoid , nor pretend the negative does not exist .
It does and the pagan community is like every other community , it has its share of negative people , energy etc. and yes envy .
Not to be confused with Jealousy which usually involves not wanting to share and keep things to self .
Envy came up big time for me again in regards to banishing those and cutting ties with people who drain me spiritually . Yes used and abused and the at the root is that nasty entity envy .
of course it is well intertwined with its partner in crime fear .
because really the root which grows and feeds envy deeply is the rotten food of fear .
Fear to be oneself .
Fear to learn from those who share to become who we already are to renew , return and discover .
A fear of discovery to be a whole .
This topic came up when Sarah over at Witch of Forest Grove was going through someone actually copying her work ! As I read her journey through this experience I realized  I was having to deal with the issue of spiritual plagiarism .
It played a big trip of self hate on my part .
As teacher I share what has been given to me so others may learn to take that knowledge and carry it within themselves so they may make it their own . So they may experience regrowth .
 When the issue of a student who took from teacher not to grow but claiming what was given as their own spiritual teachings and experiences it did several  things to me . It drained me because equally as we give and receive for the good some take and receive for the negative . To claim to something one is not . In order to boost self and receive acknowledgement which is the whole opposite of what our purpose is here for .
Another thing that occurred was dishonour , as a teacher it is an insult for student not to acknowledge the teacher and then go out and claim these things as their own . I mean I can't imagine not being grateful to all my teachers even plant & animal etc.
Sarah reposted this post of hers Imitation is not the biggest form of flattery , it is in fact  an insult and abuse of the gift someone is sharing with us .
This experience also put in my head a negative thought which I had to acknowledge my part in this relationship .
The question , was I a failure ? Did I as teacher fail the student ?
I mean if I am teaching and they then leave into the world still an insecure person not comfortable within their own skin , have I failed ?
I have to say I took quite a self beating over this .
My responsibility is to guide and share . To send people off into the world healthy people . This is my hope weather I am teaching children or adults the goal is the same .
I cannot however control if people chose to steal , to try and be someone they are not . If people wish to not deal with their life as a whole , to deal with their own negative and poor qualities I can give them all the positive stuff I can give it won't do a thing .
So does this stop me from sharing , NO !
 I have to trust people either get it or they don't  .
I do the proper things to protect myself even banishing and cutting ties . I even pray these people will have fear lift so they can become whole self again .  I truly believe in intercession yet I cannot force someone to believe nor make another change . If someone feels less than and unworthy to be themselves only they can do the actual work to change  .
So I go on , continue to share & harbor no resentments and try and remember the lessons learned via my beautiful teachers .
I do know I shall be more careful in choice of student and I will look to intent as well .
We took the last week to deal with illness and take life slow and began to focus on return , regrowth and restoring .
I love teaching children , I look at my grandson and what I share with him , he so uses this to crate his own belief and grow into the wise wizard he is called to be .

3 comments:

  1. I have taught in a college setting and I can feel your pain and doubts. All I can say is we as teachers are to guide the student. They in turn must be willing to learn....however there is a grey area as well. Some people have no inner moral compass-and sometimes that is hard to spot and even harder to fix. Remember the three fold law, maybe if they remembered that they would act differently.

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  2. I haven't taught in the setting of an institution. I have taught dog training classes through my own prior business but that isn't really relevant. I think I understand the emotions you're dealing with because I think they are similar to "parenting" my children only to see them ignore my "teaching" and get into trouble - this has been happening a lot lately with my almost 16-yr-old son. It is heartbreaking to say the least.

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  3. Really enjoyed, very interesting.

    Rachel x

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